FINAL SESSION RE: OH, MY, THE PAIN!
I promised to update you re: the progress of this couple I have mentioned with the twins, baby, intimacy, and trust issues. Everytime I sit down to write more, I hesitate. Although it is true that I no longer see this couple, they have moved out of the country, and they gave me permission to share their story, I still feel there are couples who might too closely see themselves and get hurt. So------I have decided to leave this story for a few more years.
Suffice it to say as far as I know, they are still together, still seeing an Imago therapist nearer where they live and they did an astonding, risking, brilliant, and valiant job of stuggling for a couple of years with me. They both shared their story, the pain of their relationship, the hurts, betrayals, and neglects they both felt throughout their time together, over and over and over, in my office. No matter how difficult it was a the moment, both took session after session, to quietly hear and honour, and attempt to understand the other's experience and pain.
That is what is takes: someone to hold the relationship, keep you both safe and contained, while you each open your heart to receive and to give. To receive your partner's experience, no matter how much it does not agree with your experience or your memory of what happened. To open heartedly listen so many times, to so much, that slowly you begin to understand, not agree with, but understand what happened from your partner's point of view. And then receive the same gift from your partner as you open heartedly share and are eventually understood.
Write to me if you want to do so. We can talk further if you think that would be helpful.
Warmly, Nancy Ross
Suffice it to say as far as I know, they are still together, still seeing an Imago therapist nearer where they live and they did an astonding, risking, brilliant, and valiant job of stuggling for a couple of years with me. They both shared their story, the pain of their relationship, the hurts, betrayals, and neglects they both felt throughout their time together, over and over and over, in my office. No matter how difficult it was a the moment, both took session after session, to quietly hear and honour, and attempt to understand the other's experience and pain.
That is what is takes: someone to hold the relationship, keep you both safe and contained, while you each open your heart to receive and to give. To receive your partner's experience, no matter how much it does not agree with your experience or your memory of what happened. To open heartedly listen so many times, to so much, that slowly you begin to understand, not agree with, but understand what happened from your partner's point of view. And then receive the same gift from your partner as you open heartedly share and are eventually understood.
Write to me if you want to do so. We can talk further if you think that would be helpful.
Warmly, Nancy Ross
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