“Rain, rain go away. Come again another day!”
One of my many childhood jump rope chants.
The sun is pushing through the clouds even as I find my head remembering the above words from decades ago. My big plans of the month are to go with 7 other women ( colleagues and friends from when I lived here 30 years ago, and others I accumulated over the years on visits from Toronto to Kalamazoo) to my friend Dawn’s cottage on Lake Michigan in Holland, today. Rain will not stop us. But sunshine would be a joy!
I have missed contact with people- women and men- in my profession these last 9 months. This is an opportunity to overdose and to love every minute of it. Hopefully further times together will emerge out of this day.
Not only does it feel like those I am newly meeting here at my condo community have (of course) no idea that I was once highly functioning and pretty darn good in my chosen career, I am forgetting who I once knew myself to be. Darn! That is pretty sad. I worked hard to get whatever piece of significance I was able to create. Connecting with like minded souls will give me a truly lovely confidence boost. The sun is teasing me: now she is here….now she is hiding…. Mother Nature wants to rain on my happy day parade. However, I won’t let that discourage me.
I must be sure to take my raincoat.
Hmmmm. I wonder if I can make a metaphor out of that? I can imagine having a “rain coat”, if you will, to protect myself from loss, pain, sadness, grief, disappointment….I wonder if that would work. I’m not really sure I want to be protected, however. I really want the entire spectrum of feelings and experiences by the end of my time. Easy for me to be saying as I stand on the edge of emerging from the tunnel I have been hiding in for a while now.
My goodness, interesting image’s are created in my mind’s eye as I am writing this morning: just now I saw time stretch out in front of me forever. Never ending. And I saw my time ending down the road. And somehow that feels okay as I realize how far time itself stretches beyond me.
I wrote the above yesterday just before I left for my day away with peers and friends. It was an exceptionally lovely and heart- over-flowing- day at the beach. Beautiful multi colored green lake with pretty fair sized waves, clear baby blue sky with occasional cotton candy clouds, gentle tender caressing breeze. Exquisite. This morning I was up and at’m by 7 am, out of the house by 8:30 am. Indeed, I have tip toed around a corner. Life is worth living again. It took patience, due diligence, love, time, humbly accepting help. Today is my day to accomplish errands that I found impossible to address a week ago! Yaaaaay.
Again, my message is: give yourself time to transition, to heal, to rest and accept loss, difference, change, other- than- your- longed- for- normal. Long ago I wrote about compassion for self and others. Focus today on compassion for yourself exactly as you are in this very moment. You are all you need to be. You are where and who you need to be. It is your future responsibility to be honest with yourself. Today is a day of compassion for self.
It’s time to make a list! Write down 20 things you like about yourself. Then make a list of 20 things you feel positive about in your life. Surround yourself with a pink, blue and lavender colored bubble of love. Celebrate. Shout accolades about yourself to the world. Mummer, mutter, whisper, sing, hum a tune of joy and pride. Dance a little happy dance in your kitchen. Put your hands on your tummy and laugh out loud. Sprinkle a lot of joy all around you and invite others to join you in a puddle of love.
Life is learning. Life is contrast. Life is stretching and humbling; sometimes shaky and more difficult than it ought to be. But always worth the effort. Leave Eeyore tucked up in your bed and join Winnie the Pooh at the honey pot.
I suggest that you welcome into your mind, your dreams of not so very long ago and trust they really can come true.
- I am grateful for a day at the beach with like minded spirits.
- I am grateful for true normal energy today.Pooh
- I am grateful I am sleeping well at night.
- I am deeply grateful to be alive.
- I am grateful to find myself able to consider dreaming again.
Love always, Nancy