I sit at my desk. Aimee sleeps at my feet. She had surgery 2 days ago for a lump under her ear and another one in her ear canal. Neither one cancerous thus far. She is taking a few days off so she can use her energy to focus on relaxing and recovering. All is well. She is a very wise soul and the sweetest 12 year old puppy on the planet.
It is my turn to take care of her. She has done a stellar job taking care of me much of her life. Turn about is only fair.
I look out of my office/sun room window and watch spring move in and take over. There is no stopping her once she finally gets the idea that it is her turn to show off her brilliance and wonder. Because I am living in what was a mud hole during the rainy and winter thaw seasons and there is major upheaval and construction going on tight beside me right now, spring is slow to show herself in my tiny piece of the world. I see patches of green trying to survive life in my back yard….and not much more….hopefully that is going to change sort of soon.
I am in the middle of change and growth. Life is happening .
Two young peacocks, several cardinals, blue jays, red winged black birds show off for me in front of my window. I smelled a skunk a few nights ago. Three gentle, graceful, fearless doe wandered down the trail that passes the back of my house. A mama fox and 3 babies that I saw, played in the leaves and dead wood in my back yard. Tiny little guys.
What do you do when a dream you settled on gets changed through no intent of your own? Grumble and grouse? Whine and complain? Have a pity party? Yes to all of the above options. Maybe.
Another idea might be to shift expectations and find the pony under all of that shit!!!!. I have decided to ignore or blend in the construction challenges and notice that I have people around me much of the time who would likely help if Aimee or I got into trouble. As well, welcome the push I am being given to launch myself into the real world outside my introverted self. Love abounds if I am willing to remember my excitement and joy as I witnessed my home being co created. In the scheme of things going on in the world today, my mud and dust, machinery sounds and vehicles snug up again me, port a john infringement, are all about advancement, growth and love. Not about devastation at all.
Think of something dreary or painful or especially annoying happening in your life. Stay with that thought….visualize it, put words to it, write about it, paint it, dance to how it feels. Then when all that needs to be told of that story has been made clear, let another story emerge. Just softly let the difficult story merge into another story that is also true. Frequently there can be many stories about the same scenario. Pick one that is true, but feels more positive, hopeful, is filled with faith in yourself and the world we live in. Let me know how this works for you….not how it doesn’t……all the ways that it does work.
Hugs and love, Nancy