April 1, 2018

Easter means hope, love, renewal, birth, pulling forth the best in self and preparing to start again!

I figured out there was not really an Easter bunny when the chocolate marshmallow cookies I so loved kept reappearing in my Easter basket even after I knew for sure I had eaten them. My mom said later she didn’t know what else to do with the cookies left in the store-bought package and anyway, it was time to change some of the magic I believed in and get a grip on reality.

I didn’t actually learn the reality lesson back then. I have lived a lifetime believing in magic. Reality, however, does hit one in the gut when feeling drugged all day every day while valiantly attempting to stop using a sleeping pill that worked for 15 years, by doing an interim far stronger, (who knew), drug with the intent to wean off. Big mistake. I didn’t have the information to understand, nor did I have enough of the unavailable in the US drug to have the time to wean myself. So….I began Abian and regret it. Talk about dozy, dopey, air brain, no focus. Man oh man. Soon this will be over and I will be grateful to welcome each and every morning with a hopefully clear head.

Me hates this, as 3-year-old Nickolas wailed when he was hauled off for nap time and everybody else was preparing to go for a swim. The family had gathered at Myrtle Beach for a week of love, play and delight. Nick got lots of all three, but he also had nap time.

I know I have love, but play and delight come when the smog clears and I no longer feel so very dreary and stupid and like I’m slugging through black fog. At least I am no longer sick! Just stupid and weary of it all.

I don’t know what my message is for today. I think it has to do with being grateful, maybe it has to do with remembering magic even when the going gets tough.

I invite you to share several gratitudes with someone you love. And make a promise to move into spring, to embrace new beginnings, to remember hope, love and magic. Magic can go a long way in this time of world unrest, fear and chaos.


  • I am grateful for an invitation to share Easter dinner today with very dear friends and some new ones I want to know.
  • I am grateful Aimee is so patient with me when I linger in the morning walk department.
  • I am grateful withdrawal is no longer making me sick
  • I am grateful for my lovely, loving new home.
  • I am grateful for my dear family and their love and support
  • I grateful to be alive
  • I am grateful my leg has healed, my blood pressure is stabilizing and when I no  longer have bad for me drugs in my life I may find sunshine and joy waiting for me with a smile on her face.

Hugs and love, blessed Easter, hope for new and rebirth, Nancy






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