Nurturing Your Love Object

The fog has lifted. The heavy rain stopped. No more thunder to terrorize Apollo, my family’s absolutely adorable Beagle. I’m looking out the big glass doors in my friend Mary’s office and although I do not see blue sky, it is lighter and more hopeful than just a couple of hours ago. This weather seems to be slowing down the progress of building my condo. I am still focusing on moving in date being December, 2017.  But my optimism is slipping, slowly loosing its grip, nearly perishing.

When optimism feels like holding onto a wet bar of soap, it is time to do something pro active. It is tempting to sleep; I’ll likely read; fortunately I took both Aimee and Apollo for a walk after doing stretches for my poor stressed legs. That helped perk things up a bit. When last did you take a Beagle for a walk? One does not dilly- dally.

I was struck this morning during a conversation I had with my friend Mary how very exceedingly important it is for all of us to have a love object in our lives. Mine certainly is Aimee, the sweetest little cuddle dog on the plant. We have walked through a lot of life together. We have had our struggles and differences. But at the end of the day she asks to be lifted onto my bed and positions her warm back and head against my left leg, solidly holding me in place and sharing her Peace and Good Will with me.

Peace gives me hope and calms my heart and soul. Good Will helps me forgive myself and others. Aimee is a wise and devoted therapy dog.

I think my message for today has to do with ways to be pro active when optimism falters. Being physical helps. I have great admiration for the at least thrice weekly trips to the gym my friend Mary makes. Finding love objects,( people, things, pets) can work. Do you remember the Tom Hanks movie…..lordy the name escapes me. Help me out: it begins with an O I think. Outcast, Overboard, no. He is a Fed-Ex driver and ends up on an island for a few years. His love object is Wilson, the volley ball. He paints, with his own blood, a face on the ball and that is all he has to relate to all the time in Castaway!!!  Hey, I got it!!

Wilson gets caught into the waves of the ocean and is swept away from the Tom Hanks character and Tom H. goes berserk. He absolutely looses it. Because he no longer has anything to love, to relate to, to hang onto or hold close. To care about. To hopefully care about him.

Every single one of us needs something to hold onto. For some people it is art: they paint or sculpture or create beautiful, satisfying things. For some people it is a person, an adult or a child or and aging friend. For others it might be making music or running marathons or star-gazing, cooking, entertaining, something. Something that helps to focus, to feel good about self, to give comfort to and receive comfort from.

What is yours? Are you satisfied? Or is it time to make a change? Nurturing whatever or whoever your love object might be can give you meaning and purpose and definitely helps you feel wanted, supported, like you belong to something or someone. It is our human condition. We have to have something or someone with whom we feel an attachment. If not, we do not thrive. We begin to perish. We wilt. We fade away, give up, stop trying.

Be pro active about recognizing your attachment object and be intentional about keeping that person or thing alive, healthy, glowing. When optimism begins to go wrangy on you, find a bit of light in the fog and build on it.

Never forget gratitudes. They help too.

I am grateful the rain has stopped
I am grateful thunder is no longer frightening Apollo
I am grateful for a lovely cup of homemade soup I just ate
I am grateful my brother is helping me
I am grateful I have a warm comfortable home until my own home is ready for me.
I am grateful I can be a part of a family birthday dinner this evening.

Hugs and love always, Nancy

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