I Am Responsible For My Own Doldrums

This day is so dreary the quiet is shouting at me.


Lordy, Toronto has blue skies even when rainy and dreary; at least some of the time. I totally forgot that Michigan has one of the most over cast skies on this continent. Glory be to the goddess above, one certainly must be creative or the doldrums could pick you right up and eat you alive.

I’m struck anew with the huge importance of keeping one’s relationship alive and fresh. It would be oh so very easy to dump doldrums, curmudgeonly aspersions, not very nice attitude, upon each other when Dreary takes over and Grace and Good Will walk out the door. It matters to have something to look forward to; as does it matter to be doing in the now something that feels worth while, useful, has meaning and purpose to self and hopefully someone else.

I remember a time many years, yay many decades ago, when my partner and I got out of bed at 2 or maybe it was even 3 am and went in search of an ice cream shoppe that was open. We actually found one, bought a huge package of ice cream, brought it home and ate it in bed. That gave us a laugh and a shift in energy for rather a while you can bet. To say nothing about starting the day off with a sugar high!

Do something dumb…stupid…unexpected….make yourself and your partner laugh. Laughing changes hormones and can put us in a new mood. A new mood might be better or not so better, but it is different. And on a dreary day like today, ANYTHING is better than what is now.  You and I are responsible for what we say and do, how we respond to what the universe gives us to deal with each day, and night, for that matter. So decide that it is okay with you to fester or retreat or moan and grumble. Or decide that it not an option and you are going to find that old jumping rope you used to use for exercise and practice jumping to childhood jingles; or plan an impromptu pot luck and call a few people; or grab the kids and create a kitchen band and drive everyone in the house crazy with a dress up, noisy, dumb, kid’s band.  It WILL change the energy in the house.

I am exquisitely aware that I have not been working for a few months. I am near the end of my tolerance for that. When I am thinking a kitchen band might be acceptable, it truly is time to take a new look at my life. I am, as are you, responsible for my own doldrums.

My friend Mary, took me to a Planned Parenthood fund raiser last week Friday. It is very political as you might imagine, and very pro active. The underlying mission is for women to have choice and power over their own bodies, which of course includes information and options. I can well imagine volunteering to help couples talk over and sort out their feelings about unplanned for pregnancy. It would give me meaning and purpose, and could hopefully contribute to helping some struggling, uncertain, likely frightened, probably young, maybe not financially secure, people co create their future.

I would feel good about offering that to my today’s dreary world. If you too have feelings you prefer not to have on a rainy overcast boring day, maybe there is something you have considered in the past and could pull forward into the now. Something you are curious about, interested in, would like to better understand, want to be a part of, something that calls your name.

Writing, remembering something interesting I might get involved in: 2 things anyway that shift my focus and change my hormonal discord. A third that I find helps is to list what I feel grateful for:

I am grateful I have a warm lovely home to live in while awaiting my own home to be built
I am grateful Aimee, the sweetest puppy on the planet, seems to be feeling better about our move
I am grateful I can imagine offering to do something I believe in.
I am grateful for this time of settling into a new and abundant life that awaits me.

Hugs always, warmly, Nancy

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