Grace and Good Will: Steadfast Friends


Do you mean to tell me I may actually have to go to jail to get this job done?

I’m 81 years old, I have varicose veins, my heart beats too rapidly and could explode, I retain water and might drown, I have 4 adult children who are stellar citizens, and my adorable 12-year-old puppy Aimee whose only fault is that she stinks from time to time, NEEDS me.

Jail is out of the question.

Glory be to all the angels in the  heavens, money is a problem. I’m one fortunate woman because I have money to be worried about. Plenty of people do not have money problems simply because they don’t have any money. That’s a whole lot bigger problem than mine. BUT my issue is if my Canadian bank doesn’t give up the ghost here and give me what is mine, I won’t have money either. And with all the working out I have done over the years, none of it was honing the emotional or physical  muscles for living rough.

My latest plan is to have my brother Bud drive the get away car and head together to the nearest TD bank over the border. I will go in first and use my 81-year-old great-grandmother ruse; morph into helpless crying; and as last resort,murmur, oh my heart,  my heart, the stress is too much for my heart. I’m not at all sure how to dress for that occasion: black jeans ( a  little classier than blue jeans to my eye) and running shoes? Best for quick get away I expect. But if great-grandmother works and I don’t have to resort to tears, I probably could pull it off best with a skirt, cardigan and a string of pearls. Low healed black slip-on’s would be safest for a quiet exit if that were warranted. None of which I currently own, of course.

One just never knows how to dress for convincing a banker you want your own money and actually you wanted it 45 days ago, so today would be good.

My message to the world: If you plan to move from one country to another: Do Not Leave The Country You Are Living in Before Your Money is ALL Safely in the Bank You Are Moving To!  My 3-year-old self understanding the wisdom of the Dali Lama, should he have considered sharing with me when I was still on his plane of awareness, is far more likely to happen than it is to be able to clear out your banking  account by using a cheque when you move out of country and trying to deposit it into your new banking account in your new country.

I believe there are secrets within secrets, within secrets, within….at banks. Somehow nobody knows what everybody knows and some people know more but aren’t telling. I only made progress when I talked in my panicky persona (not terribly difficult to find her!) to the top guy ManagerIt took me weeks to work my way up the hierarchy. He got me a cup of cold water at my request and offered Kleenex of his own free will.

In the midst of the drama it feels apocalyptic. Standing on the outside looking in it looks chaotic, smoky, secretive, dull, and unresponsive. I am needing every bit of Grace and Good Will that I can hoard for myself so as to come through my money transitional period not feeling like a slow-witted, aging, dullard.  I believe in magic and mystery. I don’t want money mysteries today, and I know magic awaits me, I just have to be patient.

And count on the get away car and my brother’s professional driving skills.

The seriousness in all of this is about secrets/with held information/ not being straightforward. Someone along the way, at my Canadian bank or my US bank, needed to tell me all in one gulp the full picture of what was going on, what was in my best interests, and what would make what could be an easy transaction, go smoothly. My international banking sophistication quotient has gone up considerably. And my mistrust that people who know about money are fully forth coming has diminished exponentially.

Bringing it to the personal: do NOT have secrets from each other. It simply doesn’t work and it WILL come back to nip you in the bottom at some point. Share information, say WE have a situation and WE need to discuss it. Be open, take the chance. Even when it feels scary or dangerous. Lies, withholding, hiding, all make life only more dangerous and tricky. None of us has the energy to unravel the tight knots of withholding, lies, or secrets. Tell your loved one what is on your mind using I statements and feeling statements and short statements so you don’t overwhelm. And together you can sort things out.

That’s what I did. I told my brother my dilemma: I feel scared and overwhelmed and need my money and don’t know how to get it.  He offered to drive the get away car. How lucky can one sister get!!  For sure.

Blessings to all, please write to me. I need words of love and sanity. Nancy


I am eternally grateful for my brother’s help on so very many levels. He even talked to US banking manager for/with me, long distance.
I am grateful I am able to continue to trust the money is still in my account
I am grateful the contractors for my condo have been kind and patient
I am grateful son Craig in Austria understands and sympathizes with my dilemma.
I am grateful I have picked colours for walls and made decisions for landscaping and have a beautiful burgundy front door at my new home
I am grateful Bud will take me to Windsor
I am grateful Mary will let me stay with her through the month of Dec.
I am grateful I do think I have max 6 weeks left before move in date


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