I haven’t written in a while. I am stuck. Stuck between a rock and a hard place as I am wont to say: the not here, and not there, place.
The literal situation is I am in Toronto, my home in Michigan is not completed, moving day for me to Michigan is September 9. Emotionally the stuck place is so longing to have the humongous job of packing, loading and driving across the border completed, absolutely not wanting to face about 4 months without my own home, heart still moved by the familiarity and loveliness of my Toronto home, and totally wanting this all behind me.
The jumble of feelings has me in a stuck place that makes it difficult to do much of anything. Know what I mean? Have you had periods in your life when it is simply impossible to move forward with grace and good will? Lovely Grace in her gauzy lavender gown is standing back watching me and ready to move in quietly whenever I welcome her. And dear Good Will just sits on his haunches in his shorts and sweaty T-shirt chewing on his thumb nail and looking at me expectantly. Both are available if only I would give the nod.
My suggestion to myself is that I make a list of 5 things I want to accomplish this next week: go the post office and change my address; call the insurance company and take care of car and house insurance; call health insurance; get parking permission, 3 spaces, for my brother’s huge white pick up truck and trailer, so he can park in front of my home over one night ready for us to load and for him to take me home…. one more will come to me I’m sure. I suggest you consider a list that might help you take the next tiny steps toward getting out of stuck. I think I can let Good old Will in if I make a list of things I am grateful for, and possibly Grace could visit me for a while if I promise myself I will stop fussing and fuming and smile even if I don’t want to and think of somebody other than myself for the next week.
Good start. Ideas for me. Ideas for you. Lists are helpful: they give clarity about what needs to be done, they show what has been done which helps to begin feeling less stuck, and they promise that this too shall end. Just take a few steps toward urging yourself toward that end goal.
This to shall end is a for sure: it always does, it always will. The waiting time often is stressful but I want to remind myself and you as well that we can have compassion for our impatience. There is beautiful life in the in between times. Don’t miss those moments. For me precious last contacts with dear friends and clients. Moments to not miss. Moments to hold close to my heart to be remembered during cold winter days when love feels distant
What are the precious moments you do not want to miss? The time in-between stuck and not stuck holds secrets, answers, gifts to be noticed. Look carefully, look with compassion and patience, look with gratitude. Every moment of each day is precious. There are times when it feels like we don’t have enough moments. Let’s not squander the ones we have.