“One of the oldest human needs is having someone to wonder where you are when you don’t come home at night.”
I have been having difficulty finding a quote that suits me as of late. I thought I might have to resort to Nancy (me), Ruth (my mother), or Fred (my father). But for many many years I have espoused the quote from Margaret Mead: “You don’t have to be a horse to be a vet.” So when I came upon yet another pithy tidbit from Ms. Mead I took in the sweet meaning with nearly a gasp. So few words, so much heart.
I believe a question all of us ask ourselves is: who really cares? Who indeed? We not only long to matter, we deserve to matter and in fact we were created to matter. Our very health and possibility of thriving depends on being loved, thus that we matter to someone at least and many someones at best. Babies to not thrive if they are not picked up, touched, embraced, given kindness. Children act out if they do not receive attention; adults have addictions, affairs, become depressed or hurtful if there is no one who cares.
We all require a place to belong……someone who cares if we come home at night. Margaret Mead, archaeologist and sociologist, witnessed that in the African villages where she studied, researched and wrote. John Bowlby developmental psychologist, wrote and taught in the 1940’s that being loved and nurtured was essential to forming healthy attachment so as to survive emotionally as well as physically.
Our longing to have someone to catch us when we are in free fall makes sense. Don’t be hard on yourself when you find tears stinging your eyes because the task you are facing should have two and it seems to have only one. You are only human, and we humans need to be loved.
- I am grateful for love, sometimes even in surprise places.
- I am grateful for time to adjust my inner world to change
- I am grateful for this incredibly beautiful summer
- I am grateful the people who bought my house have a Sold sign in front of their house!
- I am grateful for renewed energy