“How long should you try? Until.”
Thomas Edison, upon being asked how he felt having had so many failures before he discovered how to harness electricity so as to make a light bulb said:
“I did not fail. I did invent the light bulb. It was simply a 2,000-step process.”
How many of us have the perseverance, the tenacity, the patience, maybe even the time and the desire, to try 2,000 times before we get our hoped for results???? I doubt I have. What about you?
My late partner Clo had more patience and determination than anyone I have ever known. She would have tried 2,000 times and probably did almost that many times, in the wood working, renovations, and creative work she did throughout her entire life. I convince myself I didn’t really want whatever it might have been I was seeking after about 3 days of searching and maybe a dozen, or less, attempts. Clo often said I was too quick to give up.
I often say I stop 3 blocks too soon. If I am trying to find a new store, or the right block to turn on when visiting for the first time, or where I am to meet a friend for lunch, I give up my individual search and turn to someone whom I can ask . Frequently had I tried my own search for about 3 blocks longer, if you will, I figure it our for myself. I’m not at all opposed to asking for help. But I disappointment myself when I give up on me just a tiny titch too soon.
It’s all about balance of course. There are just so many times you can expect yourself to go around the same argument with your beloved. There are just so many times you can make a request, set a bottom line, make clear what really does matter to you, before you probably really should back off and at least approach it in a new way, if not drop the issue altogether. If it matters deeply and letting go feels wrong for your heart and soul, learning a new way to manage the difference is very likely the next step, out of a possible 2,000. If s(he) doesn’t see it my way, and my way is a deal breaker, then best I try a new way to set forth the hope/expectation/desire/request.
I invite you to suggest to someone with whom you are currently having a difference of opinion that you each calmly and respectfully explain what matters to you. Just listen. Don’t defend. Mirror/reflect what you have heard yourself being told. Clarify. Be certain you both fully feel heard and understood. Then both of you say, “Given what I want and what I am hearing you say is important to you, I suggest we both try something new. What together can we co-create that addresses this issue but is not being done in the same old way? How can we meet both our desires and dream out of the box? Your dream, my dream becomes our dream using fresh words, ideas, expectation, outcomes.”
I urge you and your loved one to reflect, listen, be creative. Do not give up. Until is a long time. And you really do have a life time. You can learn to be creative, responsive, totally open your heart and live with deep pleasure and satisfaction. It takes balance, courage, trying again and again….until you finally do find a way to create light in the world around you.
- I am grateful for the time age allows and I use well
- I am grateful for long, quiet, peaceful summer days
- I am grateful my tired body has rested and is feeling better
- I am grateful my mind is working rather well
- I am grateful for the suggestion a friend has made for a place I might live in Kalamazoo, Michigan while waiting for my new home to be completed.