“Resilience is the ability to face and handle life’s challenges, whether everyday disappointments or extraordinary disasters.”
Linda Graham in her excellent and very readable book: Bouncing Back.
I’ve bounced back!! My oh my. Being a grown-up can be a challenge even for grown-ups, I’m here to tell you.
You know, it takes a grown-up to buy a house that needs to be built; to sell a house that needs to be kept in top shape, inside and out; to work with movers about cross border relocation including where to store the stuff while house is being built; to talk with bank people about exchange rates and when and where to send money to buy stuff in another country; to find a place to sleep when furniture is gone; to decide what to do about a car that is tired and needs someone new to love it……
I can not count the number of times I said to myself, ” I am too little for this job. Won’t someone big just take over, please.” But you know what? I had so much support, encouragement, understanding, guidance, just plan help, that the little girl inside was able to step up to the plate and do an excellent job of dealing with a lot of new business and learning a great deal about real estate, finances, speaking out for herself, retaining even the irrelevant information on offer, and totally functioning with the other grown ups in the world. I’m actually not sure they were all that much more grown up than I was. I function incredibly well at my job as did they at their job. We all just do fine when we are operating with the familiar.
Almost Daily Missal from Nancy got lost in the flurry and I have suggested to my web designer that the name be changed to Occasional Missal from Nancy. Thus far he hasn’t followed up on that suggestion, but I’m here to tell you I’m dancing as fast as I can.
Resilience, as far as I am concerned, is being able to take care of oneself even in the midst of uncertainty, unknown, unfamiliar, unclear. We all have our particular style of doing the bouncing back. I rest, focus on Aimee, stay away from the computer, read an easy distracting book, text friends and family. And I take my time. I am easy on myself.
That is what I have to offer you when the going gets tough. Be easy on yourself and let your natural desires for your way of caring for self run the show. If eating extra ice cream bars helps, go ahead and do it! If sleeping an extra 45 minutes in the morning with your puppy snuggled against you helps, do it! Follow your inclination. You have been in this world long enough now to have some familiar behaviors and they are not all of them bad or wrong. Some work just fine. Sort out the useful behaviours for coping with stress, find some that are semi useful and doable, and take a chance. You very probably are going to get it right.
- I am grateful my house is sold.
- I am grateful I have picked a moving company I trust
- I am grateful for help I am receiving from Michigan to facilitate going from here to there.
- I am grateful when I have energy to do what each day presents
Stay with it, whatever IT may be. You are smarter than you think. That is my big learning from the last month and a bit, and I share it with love and gratitude. Hugs, Nancy