Four years ago. Four sets of loving arms held you. For sets of soft eyes regarded you with tenderness and awe. Four hearts beat instead of yours. Four voices said, ” I love you sweetheart…..I love you Mamie…..We love you , Clo……”
Four years and your spirit still lives in this house you almost entirely rebuilt and memories of us will live inside me as I move from our house to my house. I think I am unable to leave you here completely. So I take you with me as best I am able to do.
I can not do specific memories. I can do over all feelings: smiles, listening, working, creating, eating and drinking, huge sadness, pride, bravery, wisdom, pain, love, always a teacher, always a lover of babies and children, especially grandchildren and goats, dogs, and cats.
I think you helped me sell our house and I think you are pleased with what I have done to take care of business. I feel you letting go of me and of this planet earth as I prepare to change life entirely.I chose to believe you are proud of my taking charge of my life on my own. I miss you. I have not lost myself in the past, but instead am lovingly and I think wisely creating a new future, taking with me all you taught me, what we learned together, and the faith that both of us have made wise choices for ourselves.
Anyone who may be reading this I ask you to meditate on the number four for a while: 4 minutes of loving. 4 days of holidays. 4 smiles. 4 times of pleasure and laughter. 4 hugs. 4 acts of kindness. 4 jobs well done. 4 gratitudes. 4 disappointments that you can chose to look at in a new way.
- I am grateful I notice how blessed I am
- I am grateful for my teachers, mentors, friends, family, all those who have and still do love me
- I am grateful for my mind and my health, for my forward planning and for the time I take to process, grieve, celebrate, honour and remember.
- I am grateful for the life and gifts I have been given
- Love, blessings and gratitude always, Nancy