May 14, 2017


“If you don’t love what you are doing, stop doing it!”

Fred Alkema  (my father)


Wise man, that father of mine. He was a man before his time. He was always expecting his ship to come in, his fortune to be awaiting him, his luck to take care of him. In the end, his luck, with much wisdom and afore thought, did take care of him and my mother very nicely. And I reaped the benefits as well. He was a very hard working and ethical man and I admire him very much.

Permission from my father to love what I do has been a lovely gift for me throughout my life time. I have always loved my work and when it began to pale a bit I changed ever so slightly and the adventure and excitement and satisfaction started up all over again.

What I am wondering now is just how important is day in and day out happiness anyway? Overall happiness, end of life happiness, mostly happy, often happy; all that makes sense to me. But it occurs to me I do most of my best learning and growing when I struggle, when I sweat, when I am wont to grumble, when mostly I would like to run away.

It makes abundant good sense to me to strive to feel happy and to fill life mostly with joy if possible. However, there really is significant truth in the possibility that feeling something is hard, onerous, drudgery, darn awful and I would rather not do it, is where I am going to find my absolutely best mature self.

I HATE selling a house. I HATE having a house built. I HATE leaving Canada. I HATE closing down my therapy practice, I HATE dealing with finances……but I am learning, stretching, finding moments of feeling good about growing up and being an adult in a demanding world. When I come on the other side of all of this, without a doubt I will feel smarter, more grown up, satisfied with my accomplishments.

I suggest you not over emphasize the value of happiness and allow for misery to sneak in and teach you some lessons. I encourage you to take on a task for three months that your partner tends to be the one to do most times. Learn to do something out of your comfort range. It really is very satisfying. And it gives the two of you something new to talk about: I do this new job differently than you did and it is actually working out quite well. Maybe some exiting new energy can leap into family life and make everybody laugh.

I think it is worth a try. Just for the heck of it. Let me know how it works out.


I am grateful for a day today of catching up with myself
I am grateful for sunshine
I am grateful Aimee gets such pleasure out of sitting in the sun out in the garden watching the world go by
I am grateful for my health
I am grateful for professional help with pain in my legs

Hugs and love, Nancy

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