Skunk

I sit at my desk in my cuddle duds, winter vest, wool socks, trying not to breath. I have the windows open and the furnace off…..hoping. Begging whatever powers there might be who might have a suggestion for a useful intervention. The stench follows me everywhere. I am thinking it is in the outside of the house as well as inside. I think closing up the house might be the better part of prudence. I thought fresh air was the answer to an old woman’s nightmare.

I have used vinegar, dish washer soap, shampoo, dozens of loads of laundry, scented candles, Febreez, tomato juice, hopefulness, hopelessness, denial, trial, friends, strangers. Right now I am trying fresh air, but I am highly suspicious that the outside air is even worse than my inside monster. My life is skunk, stink, stench, pollution, its own kind of personal hell meant to punish me for 80 years of negligence, laize faire attitude toward the grimness of life, any and all lapses of kindness I may have blithely imposed on undeserving souls.

New Year’s Eve Aimee and a skunk came literally head to head. I actually saw the skunk’s spit fly into Aimee’s face. In fairness to the skunk, Aimee had her by the throat and was trying to break her neck. She then dropped her and in my view of matters, that skunk looked straight at me, then turned and blasted Aimee. All three of us were stunned. The skunk finally broke the freeze and walked away and Aimee came in and ravished my home and my life for the next three days……thus far…..and still is.

My prayer:
quiet
peace
breathing
fresh
hide
cave
dark
peace
in charge
able to take care of my life
quiet 
peace
breath
My dream:

easy
clean
free
fresh
laughter
fun
roses
lilacs
lavender

My hopes:

this will all go away soon
I will NEVER again allow such a thing to happen to me or to Aimee
no one I know or love has to enter this house until I have it free of stink
I will someday find laughter and fun in this travesty/horror
soon I will be able to breath deeply and freely
that this will never happen to me or any one else again, ever, ever…

Gratitudes:
  • that this has never happened before
  • that I have slender moments when it feels hopeful that I am making progress
  • that although I am allergic to the stench by virtue of headache and sneezing and sore throat, I have not had more difficult reactions.

    I’m going to close up the house, turn on the furnace, make a hot cup of coffee……and do some more laundry. God I am sick of this mess! I have called the groomer and want Aimee shaved to the skin, and first thing tomorrow I will call the carpet and upholstery cleaners to come ASAP, Isn’t it amazing that one could feel shame about allowing a skunk to invade their peace, their home, their love and trust in the beauty of life???Please god, do NOT let anyone come near my home and smell how I am living these days.       Love always, Nancy

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