January 15, 2017

Quote:

“To be at peace with ourselves, we need to know ourselves.”

Caitlin Matthews

“No more words, Hear only the voice within.”

Rumi

Thoughts:

A quiet, still, kind, sweet voice spoke to me while I was still in bed this morning. That presence visited me as I was cocooned in the skunk free quilts with Aimee pressed against my leg and bum, my head held by the fluffy pillow in a warm sweet-smelling cloud.

The presence was clear and in colour and very brief, brightly sitting beside me. Side by side, this other self or being or maybe a presence and just me. I still see the vividness and the youth and feel the freshness. Ever so slightly I can remember. Not words. Just a memory. My inner self, my inner angel/guide/heart/wisdom, my inner voice,  was telling me I am safe. My inner voice whispered ever so tenderly of love. It was way too brief. I wanted to hear more and to feel more. I turned up the thermostat to warm my house and let Aimee out, then went back to bed to find that moment again.

It had slipped away.

I knew fleetingly of the purest of peace. I felt privileged to be in the presence of something/someone always there for me and I sometimes forget that to be true. I can forget even now. It was quick, it left me far too soon, and the words were important but disappeared: Words of hope and reassurance. Words we all yearn to hear and long to hold tight against our skin, in our heart and soul always. We want our mind to believe we are secure.  I was blessed. I let go too soon. It all faded before I could get a firm grasp. But it remains in some far part of me that I tug at and pull at and try to bring forward again.

I do not want to forget. I will give myself time each day for a while to simply meditate on that flash of a moment. That feeling of being uplifted and held, as well as being seen and valued. It will grown. A tiny seed can grow into a huge red wood or sequoia tree, hundreds of years old. My wisdom and hope can grow and thrive for hundreds/thousands/millions of years. My wisdom and hope, and the wisdom and hope of billions like me can join together and we will all find whatever it is we each most cherish.

That tiny glimpse of what is there always, for all of us, has moved me to contemplate for awhile. I don’t want to forget. I don’t want to loose that message. I will walk, be still, dream.

I sometime question myself about things: courage, decision making, stamina, willingness, making a difference, meaning of my being here, now, in this particular moment in time.  Meaning of leaving my country of choice and returning to my roots.

In that moment I felt no doubts.

Pause for a moment. Clear your mind. Breathe. Hold the quiet for just a bit. And go about your day when you have reached the inner you that knows happiness and the meaning of your precious life.

Gratitudes:

  • I am grateful for my moment of grace this morning
  • I am grateful for a quiet day for just Aimee and me
  • I am grateful I feel safe in my moving process. Safe about the adventure I am upon
  • I am grateful for my mind and my health
  • I am grateful for the love of my family
  • I am grateful for all the myriad of gifts Aimee brings into each of my days
  • I am grateful I believe I have many years ahead to continue learning and growing.
  • I am grateful for anyone who finds comfort/solace/wisdom/hope in any of my ramblings
  • I am grateful for life

In precious awareness of how fortunate I am, Nancy

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