“There is a Native-American parable about a grandfather who says, I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is the vengeful, angry one. The other wolf is the loving, compassionate one. When asked which wolf will win the fight in his heart the old man replies, The one I feed.”
Catherine Ann Jones
Taken from Daily OM-Heal Yourself
I totally understand the concept of 2 wolves fighting in my heart. However, one of my wolves is loving and compassionate, toward myself and others; and the other wolf is fearful and anxious about change and the unknown. Actually I do an amazingly good job of creating fear and surrounding my poor dear heart with stories I make up about how difficult change will be.
2016 has slipped right by. Tomorrow is a whole new year, with whole new hopes and expectations, dreams, ideas, possibilities. I’m not going to make a New Year’s resolution list. But I am going to dream some dreams about how smooth, peaceful, calm, content this next year is going to be. Huge challenges stand in front of all of us: world challenges, personal challenges. It is up to me, it is up to you, to decide how we are going to face them and how we are going to respond. Respond, not react. I choose to not react impulsively. I choose to respond responsibly.
One way I feed my compassionate wolf is through gratitudes; through intentionally filling my mind and heart with loving, positive, hopeful thoughts and ideas. The minute I scare myself, I shout kindly to me, NO; and instead remind myself of all the help I have, all the love I have, all the delight there is in creating new and sliding gently into a life I do not yet know very much about.
New is exciting, challenging, shiny, can sparkle, can surprise, has potential for growth, for magic, and is certainly filled with mystery. As you will note I am sure, I’m staying focused on the positive and not even letting the wolf of anxiety have a nibble! Nothing about….there I almost did it. You know, that wolf of anxiety has a mind of its own and it behooves me to remember that it is superstitious thinking when I tell myself if I think of the scary things before they happen, maybe it won’t actually happen.
Because there really is a lot of uncertainty in our world as we head into 2017, I suggest we form a group of however many we are, committed to remembering all the good, beautiful, loving, kind, generous, happy, exciting, curious, surprising, creative, wise, humble, people in the world and things happening in our life, each and every day and night.
I resolve to start and end each day with gratitudes.
- I am grateful for all the love I have seen and felt this past year
- I am grateful for all the health and strength and power I see in those I love.
- I am grateful for small acts of kindness I have received. Including the sweetness and kindness of the 5 young men who are staying in my home for this New Year’s weekend.
- I am grateful that I am headed into change and movement, aliveness and joy in 2017
- I am grateful for my lovely, loving companion Aimee, the cutest dog on the planet, who has seen me through life for 11 years. I think the move will have a deep affect on her and I promise to be kind and patient and gentle as we both adjust.
- I am grateful to all those who read what I write and I deeply and totally appreciate comments and feedback.
Hugs and love always, Nancy