A Huge Dysfunctional Family Mess

I am headed to Missouri for US Thanksgiving with part of my family; then on to Vienna with my daughter to visit more family.  Lisa and I will have a 10 day tour of Austria, Hungary, and Germany. Exciting! I am ready to be in the loving safe arms of my grown children and grandchildren, who are well on their way to being outstanding grown ups.

I have kept my air waves free of US upheaval for a few days now. I am overwhelmed and deeply saddened and I have needed  time to find my equilibrium. I have the luxury of pulling my attention elsewhere for a while because I am protected by geographical distance here in Canada: a wise and generous country that welcomes diversity and of course, has it’s own struggles and dark places as well.

The last information I have from the US is to have listened to some of the speech given at the end of the play Hamilton in New York. Words of caring and inclusion from the people of a nation under siege. I find hope when I hear clear, intelligent,  kind words and actions speaking for sanity in the midst of so much turmoil and pain. There is much for me to be proud of in my country of birth, always has been, always will be. There is much to be ashamed of as well.

I am intentional about taking a deep breath or two when something happens that I feel ashamed of or aghast about and mindfully turning my thoughts and energy to what feels solid and just and mature.  The United States looks like an out of control dysfunctional family with several angry family members who are indiscriminately throwing around what they think of as power; while others are holding steady and watching the family system imploding and exploding around them, knowing that eventually this chaos will settle and the grown ups must be ready to slide into the hot ashes to start healing and reconnecting.

I hope, upon my return to Michigan after an almost 30 year hiatus, to bring my elder self, the self that has experienced a tremendous and heartfelt welcoming and acceptance from friends and colleagues during these blessed years in Canada, to bring that self into Michigan and become a channel of safety and love. A teacher perhaps, a listener, a wise elder who can share my  experiences of people with exceeding differences living together in harmony. A country where, in my experience differences can be named, faced, discussed, until some common resolution can be found. Not always. But often. And using guns, shouting foul words, having a temper tantrum, lying, embarrassing behaviors are not acceptable.

I’m blessed that I found love, acceptance, friends, and precious work during my years living in Toronto. I am delighted and pleased to take whatever learning, healing, growing I have done while here home with me to share.  I want the United States, the country of several generations of my family, to have a holy epiphany and once again become a great country in the world, a country that carries the voice of all people in its heart and soul. A country of freedom and abundance like my dear father loved and was oh so very proud to be an active, alive, included, deeply dedicated citizen of.

I want the dis-ease of the land of my birth to heal. I want the United States to be more generous and more just;  no longer a dysfunctional country, but a just and safe haven for all souls.

I won’t be sharing my words for awhile, maybe not until 2017. I hold close in my heart my desire for all beings to be safe. I say thank you to the hundreds if not thousands of people who have cared for me and loved me in my life time. I am honoured to share this life journey with all and I pray my own ability to love and to forgive will grow stronger.

Nancy

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