August 23, 2016


“Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.

Sigmund Freud


So very true. Unexpressed emotions often times haunt us in illness. Our body tells us something is not going so very well. Our body gives us pain, or makes us sick, when we carry unexpressed feelings that long to get into the air and land someplace solid where we feel heard and understood.

My dear friend and colleague Liz White used to say that anger not directly expressed, not being honoured and dealt with honestly, will come out side ways. The recipient will feel side- swiped, surprised and caught off guard.  Recently I felt taken advantage of, not respected for what I though was generosity, and I let my resentment pile up. My overflow was hurtful to others and I regret causing hurt. I wish I had spoken sooner, when I felt less overwhelmed and overwrought. It is not helpful to anyone, self or others, to hold back feelings that you deserve to express and someone else deserves to know you are feeling.

Check yourself carefully for unexpressed feelings. It could easily be unexpressed love, or gratitude, or hope or dreams. Or it could equally be feeling of being taken advantage of, or feelings of hurt or disappointment. Consider that not giving expression to your truth will cause you grief in some way at some point. And practice what you want to say giving regard to yourself and to the one you want to hear you.

Be easy on yourself. You are aloud to make mistakes. It is okay to say I have been holding back but now I know I must speak with you about…..whatever. It is okay to say, I though what I was doing or what I was letting you do was okay with me but I see it isn’t. Please could we renegotiate. Give yourself permission to share what you feel. Trust in your honesty and have pride in your courage. Feelings are a good thing. Just not so very good when left for the body to sort out, because the result of that sorting will without question be more difficult to deal with then facing head on what needs and deserves to be expressed.


  • I am grateful for friends who listen with love and without judgment
  • I am grateful I learn and I hope I take responsibility for my errors.
  • I am grateful I am moving forward in my stretch in the world of technology.
  • I am grateful Aimee has had a great workout today and is sleeping peacefully. Just like a tired puppy ought to be doing.

Love always, for self and other. Nancy

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