Changes, changes, I can’t stand all of these changes. So said my oldest son when he was about 8 years old. What changes I ask. You painted the front door red and bought me new pajamas says my not particularly adventuresome son. Oh, sorry, I respond. I’ll take back the pajamas.
Change is exciting. It can be very scary. Sometimes change is baffling and we feel out of our comfort zone. Sometimes we are preparing for significant change for a rather long time and are not conscious about doing that.
I found last winter long and arduous. I slept a lot, read a lot, listened to music. I reached out and was intentional about creating more community for myself. I made good progress and felt satisfied with accomplishments. AND I knew/know something was missing.
I may have found the missing link!…..A tiny little cottage on a tiny little lake called Long Lake just a half mile down the road from my daughter Lisa in Michigan. Cute little bugger. Ready to move in though I am not ready to move quite yet.
The finding of the little, cute needs -me -to- fix- it- up cottage is a mystical story it itself: You know Aimee! The cutest dog on the planet. Well, no surprise, she is also the most psychic dog on the plant, or intuitive dog, or for sure, the most tuned into me dog on the planet. I just spent 2 weeks, planned on three but cut it short for a variety of reasons, in Michigan with my cousins in the northern part and my daughter and family and friends in the western more central part.
It was hot and oh so very very humid. Aimee was not impressed. She slept. And slept. And stretched and ate and peed and slept. Walking was not what she wanted to do. However, one morning, while still cool enough that walking was possible, Aimee took me out and about and we ended up with her sitting beside a for sale sign in the back yard of a tiny little 850 square foot cottage that looked like no one was loving it very much. She just sat so I walked around and peeked in windows. She eventually followed and sniffed out the drooping deck, walked down to the water and just barely kept herself from falling into leaves and grass that floated along the edge.
When we got back to Lisa and Robert’s home I mentioned there was a for sale sign in front of a cottage that interested Aimee and me……and the rest is history!
Aimee’s cottage…..I may have to change her name to Emi. They don’t quite get the A May part in US. Well, truth be told, as we very well know, there is a fair bit they don’t quite get in the US. So why in heavens name might I consider returning?
Actually I am not returning at all. I am moving…..I am moving my business, my home, my life, my self, my dog….I am moving into a dream I have had possibly all my life: a manageable cottage with water and trees and peace. Where I am loved and I feel loving. Where I can write, and still have many of the wonders of this incredible city of Toronto that I have called home and loved so dearly and has embraced and welcomed me for so long. I will have culture, quiet, friends, family, space, a slowed down life that is affordable.
I will also be in a country that I believe is in great despair and distress. Maybe my soul, my energy, my presence, my information, skills, hope, positive thinking, who I am can help just a tiny little bit. Maybe there is a place for me to help heal, to help affect something of change and hope in the country where I was born and often times can not with integrity relate to and have to stretch and be intentional about remembering to love..
I would like to think I can have an impact on the great upheaval happening in the US. I believe I came to Canada to heal and strengthen myself, my spirit and soul. I think I have given back in helping to guide and heal others through out the 26 + years I have lived here. I think I have grown tremendously and now I have a great deal to offer someone somewhere else.
My roots. This is where I began. I suspect this is where I need to end, for myself and possible for others. Certainly this move is for myself. Aimee taught me that. Hopefully others will benefit as well. My family welcomes me with love and no restraint. I am blessed.
I am on a trajectory, headed for a cottage, beyond that much unknown. It will take me the better part of a year to be ready for the actual move. I have a practice to move to another country, I have things that need to be done to live as I want to live in my new home, I have friends and a life here to complete……I knew I was in transition. I was not conscious what that looked like. So much more to say. But time to stop for now.
Business as usual for now. Closure in the spring……and a new beginning next summer. Oh my oh my. All these changes. My cottage door is not red nor is it going to be. I wear nightgowns not pajamas, but I need hardwood floors, and electric fence to keep Aimee safe, a wall torn down al la Clo, a closet built and eventually an office/guest room added. Whew. I am tired already.
Blessings, I send energy and hope that you are staying cool. I hope you can share my pleasure and comfort with me. Please stay in touch. I am gently closing a door but not locking it. And I am widely opening another door and welcoming what ever is on offer.