I have been thinking more about what I recently wrote concerning the right to live our dream and thinking further about taking responsibility for our dream and any consequences that might bring, or taking responsibility if we give up our dream and enter the dream of someone else, even, or maybe especially, if that is someone we love.
My partner of 23 years had a dream of literally building her own house and creating beauty and love inside and outside of her/our home. My dream was of two professional people going out into the world to make enough money to have others do the work on the home as well as enough money to travel, entertain, be fully involved with grandchildren……I think you get the picture!
What I have said in the past is that I gave up my dream and entered hers. Which may well be true. But 3 years after her death, what I am totally conscious of is that her dream left me with a lovely home, inside and out, in which I can continue to live my life. And in which I can reconsider my own hopes and dreams for my future and decide what that might be now that I am in the middle of older age. The elder me I have talked about in the past.
I think without question it works to share dreams, move back and forth as the focus is on one and then can hopefully be on the other. The danger is when one dream gets totally wiped out and forgotten. Or maybe not really forgotten. Maybe thrown into the Life Long Regrets bin.
How very sad to be ending life never having at least attempted to live a dream that you hold close to your heart, that you feel is special for you and that feels like it was meant to be the reason for living this lifetime.
I urge you to find someone you hold in regard and share with them your dream for your life and listen to their dream for theirs. Then talk about how closely you are living that dream, or not, and what your next steps might be.
Dream big, start small. Bless every step of the way, and never ever set yourself up for filling up the Life Long Regrets bin.