I was surprised at the lack of depth, lack of comprehension of the depth of the meaning and feeling of the word lonely in the dictionary. It says, lack of friends or companions. Wow. How meaningless is that!
I have lots of friends, family, companions. I have my constant companion Aimee. And there are times when I am lonely. Lonely for a deep emotional intimate connection. Lonely for feeling known and seen beyond the self you see at first glance. Lonely for face to face time with those who have known me for decades…..some all of their lives, many all of our adult lives.
One can move through life doing quite fine, thank you very much. Functioning, creating, making decisions, accomplishing much, days filled with people who love you and want you with them. And still feel lonely.
I think lonely only gets soothed when one feels fully seen and understood by those one truly values and holds in high regard. We can function just fine without that degree or that intensity for quite a while. And then something, and I think that something is mysterious, I do not know what it is that brings on the feeling, but something happens and what is now simply isn’t enough. More, deeper, greater knowing and understanding, love, total acceptance and appreciation, even if I am a monster sometimes, love I am sure it is in the end, love is simply needed to move forward into the next day the next moment, the next event.
Friends love us…..and then there is Love. I am not talking romance. I am talking Unconditional Love. For me that inevitably must come from a family member.
I have precious, dear, available, truly dear friends. And sometimes I need the love only family can give me. Like now. I am going to Michigan sooner than expected because it is time to be loved by family. I am so very very fortunate that I have family and that indeed they do love me. I wish that for everyone. It is healing, gives me life and vigor, it is affirming and keeps me solid and safe.
Do what you need to do to nurture valued relationships. Family and/or friends. No matter how well you manage life on the whole, always there will be times when feeling Loved is imperative. And that is not a bad thing at all. Nor is it weak or needy. It is simply true.
We came from Love. We long for Love. Sometimes we know when we have Love and sometimes we miss the signs. Become conscious and mindful. Notice where it is you feel you receive high regard. Be mindful of nurturing and welcoming Love when it comes your way. And always return that Love. Your dear ones need it from you, just as you need it from them. Love makes the tough times in life worth while. A few moments of peace, of connection, of safety and security goes a really long way especially when we remember having had that during times of feeling lonely.
Hugs always, write to me, tell me what you think, how you feel. Loneliness deserves to be held. Nancy