Let’s Talk a Bit About Fear

Carl Jung says the antidote to fear is being bold. A big paraphrase, but that is what I hear when I read: Fear is a challenge and a task, because only boldness can deliver from fear.”

When I am truly afraid, I am frozen. Frozen with fear. Can not move. Can’t go out of the house, get in my car, do everyday ordinary errands. It does feel like I have been pretty darn bold when I finally throw off the ice berg from around my shoulders, my heart, my soul, my very ME. But it takes help outside of me to begin the process of melting, so I can find the legs and the voice and the power and the wisdom to be bold.

If only it were so easy. Just tell myself, “Be bold! Do it anyway. You may be frightened, but move!!”  Right. That is the trick isn’t it? How to move?

For me it takes allowing energy around me to help with the thawing. Kind words from friends, smiles from strangers passing on the sidewalk as I walk Aimee, hugs, distraction enough that music can come through, smelling a lovely flower or hearing a bird song……something magic that is greater than I am helps with the thawing.

Indeed there is a point at which I must take over. It is up to me to move, to take charge, to decide, and then risk (that is bold isn’t it!) letting in the noise of the world. Sometimes my skin feels so raw that I think I have been using sand paper instead of body cream. Even then, the first step often times needs to come from the outside rather than the inside.

At what point do we take charge of our own fear……sometimes when we get bored with it…..sometimes when we get tired or exhausted or finally feel finished with it. Like everything else, maybe fear is a decision that I can change if I really want to change it. Maybe I can just have enough of being stuck in feeling afraid and choose to do it anyway. Pretty bold, huh?

It is possible Jung knew what he was talking about! The challenge of fear is to break away from the ice, from the state of being frozen. The task of overcoming fear is to get tired enough of feeling afraid that we decide to go ahead anyway and and just DO it.  Whatever “it” might be.

Well, I personally understand the concept and the feeling of being frozen in fear. For me it takes my own sweet time to find my way out of the chunk of ice that holds me. But I do know I have gotten pretty tired of feeling fearful and anxious about living a full and fruitful life as I age. And I am committed to moving on. I will make mistakes, I will fail myself, I will look foolish from time to time. But I love the life I have chosen for myself and I intend to live it fully and take advantage of my longevity. If I am going to live to be 100, I better do it with flare!

I am willing to listen to your fear, help hold you as you get a grip, and wait patiently as your wobbling feet begin to hold you straight and tall again. Write me, phone me, come in to see me. We very likely can create some magic together.

Hugs and love, Nancy

 

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