Sometimes, especially in the fairly early morning, I wander aimlessly, or maybe with a titch of direction and intent, around the house, upstairs, downstairs, and in my Lady’s Chamber, (remember that nursery rhyme from childhood, yours, your children’s and now the grand children’s)….
Making self changes takes a long time. Sometimes it takes years. The brutal truth is, our entire life time is about changing, learning, seeing self as new or different.
Listen…..often times it is only a whisper……but you KNOW…..you know what you know. Trust yourself, your quiet voice, your longings, your hopes. Trust YOU. Breathe, listen, whisper, allow hope to prosper, have faith in the unknowable.
When I can breathe, go deep inside myself, quiet my head talk, give up expectations and admonitions, and listen softly, my little voice whispers that all is well and I am truly headed where I really do want to go. I encourage you to try this. And to have faith that your little quiet whisper inside voice is filled with abundant wisdom.
I have been doing some thinking and some writing about unbearable sadness, lately. Not depression. But the profoundly deep black hole of sadness that seems absolutely unbearable. The kind that longs for comfort and companionship and compassion while simultaneously needing desperately to be invisible.
Sadness hovers and clings to our skin, to our very soul, to our bones and muscles. We can become frozen with sadness and fear,. We carry sadness like a precious gem: awed by it’s presence and aware of it’s mysterious power. The ever present gift of knowing profound unbearable sadness is that it often stops us in our tracts and forces us to rest.
Life is about contrast. If we didn’t know the unbearable, we would not be able to fully embrace the joyful. Unbearable sadness is not a trick to manipulate us into recognizing joy. Unbearable sadness is a gift to help us remember feelings like love, peace, pleasure, security, hope…..Unbearable sadness is one of the many paths toward what we ultimately long to have; understanding, regard, belonging, being wanted and accepted, being listened to, a bottom line faith that there is meaning in life for all of us.
Shakti is teaching about how to have more money in that above quote. I have left that last blank: more……we will have, because I think much more and other can be put in there. The more we trust our intuition the more content we will be, the more secure we will feel, the more joy we can find, the more hope we will trust….on and on.
Having compassion for self has been a theme of mine for a few days now. I think about the relevance of that concept as Valentine’s Day looms…….in all of is glory, fun, hope, and potential for disappointment.
Not so very long ago I was talking with a friend who was very sad, grieving for many powerful and tragic changes, overwhelmed, probably scared, somewhat numb, profound bone numbing fatigue…..