It has now been a very long time since I have written. Not for lack of thinking and wondering and speculating: Part lazy, part busy, part internal shifts and changes and feeling very vulnerable. I do some of my best writing when vulnerable. AND the opportunity to be maudlin sometimes feels too great to risk.
All is well. I always find the shift from bright, easy, hot, and lazy summer to colourful, breezy, chilly and damp autumn, including the loss of sun light, emotionally difficult. I find myself feeling sad. I am aware of loss and aware of moving into a cold, bare, overcast, often dangerous winter. Three months would be fine. Often times it feels like winter is closer to 5 months.
Part of me is looking forward to hibernating. Part of me fears the isolation. I have totally revamped my inside home and am working on the world around my home. I am in process of creating a new inside self and am intentionally creating a larger and richer and deeper world outside of me.
Hibernating from time to time can be very creative, healing, and preparatory for moving forward in life. We live in a very busy and demanding world. Life is often about rushing and hurrying and multi-tasking and stretching to meet the expectations of many others. Time to go inside, take a careful look around, and simply rejoice and celebrate self is highly valuable. This cannot be done when distracted with too much to do, too many things to focus on, too many requests for your time and energy.
I understand that time out seems impossible. And actually almost is impossible if you have babies and job and home and family……but being creative and pro-active will help. You and your partner can take turns on the weekend to each have 2 or 3 hours to nourish yourself. You can agree every few months for one to leave for an overnight while the other stays in charge…..there are many ways to think out of the box. The important message here is to value, especially for yourself, some time away from your usual world so as to simply focus on you. Your reward will be a happier, stronger, better adjusted, more secure and hopeful self. It is far too easy to get YOU lost in the midst of life. It is valuable to be intentional about not letting that happen, no matter what the outside world is expecting from you or hoping you will do for them.
Even extroverts need time to replenish. Often times for an extrovert that means replenish with others. However, now and then being alone and allow/encouraging yourself to focus inward and take inventory of what you are feeling and what is going on inside that you have missed or not noticed for whatever reason, is very helpful. It helps you remember who you are above and beyond the obvious every day self your family and friends have come to expect of you. You may not need as much time away for introspection as an introvert might need. But don’t sell yourself short. You still deserve time to get reacquainted with who you are underneath all of the stress and demands and expectations in your life.