Although I have been aching to sit at my desk and write about my month in Michigan, I have equally been hesitant! It was an excellent month. Every minute was full of meaning and purpose. That in fact is what I learned in a new and deeper way: how to intentionally make every moment matter. By using my breathing, my focus, and by being intentional; by reminding myself frequently that all of this matters, that this is who I am and this is my life and it is sacred and I love it, I was able to find a dimension within myself that I have not touched in a long while.
My reluctance to sit at my desk and write about those 33 days is that I fear I won’t do them justice. Nothing spectacular happened. Yet, it felt like a blessed, precious, and healing time. I finally felt free of the dread and doom in my gut that I have felt for so long. It gave me space to receive love and hope. I found such peacefulness driving through the beautiful northern Michigan country side, I was relaxed and smiling, and open to receiving the glories of life.
I left for Michigan last month with my granddaughter Sydney Kathryn as my co-pilot and navigator. She did a stunning job as navigator but was also a wonderful travelling companion. It was a blessing to spend the drive talking and sharing our thoughts about ourselves and life. And she is only 12 years old- A wise and compassionate woman in the making. My intent for this month’s journey was first and foremost to rest my mind and my soul. I knew it was time to move into a new and exciting and productive stage in my life, but I didn’t have the energy, heart or insight to take the next step. I longed for the peace and quiet of the lush green woods in the part of the world where I grew up and received my first learning and awareness. How very wise I was to know intuitively that I needed to return to my roots and my history.
While Aimee and I were driving through the woods of northern Michigan, the sun and a soft breeze played with green leaves creating lace and lulling me into feeling peace and hope. I think that is when I first noticed that the ache in my gut was gone and that was when I began to intentionally fill the space left by the absent longing and sadness with a new energy, a new sense of what can be, who I can be, and a realization that life really is about receiving beauty. Everything felt big and great, filled with light, and safe. I knew myself to be whole.
Surprising to me, and I shouldn’t have been surprised because Interlocun, the internationally known and respected music school and camp was right beside where I was travelling, I was able to fill my ears and soul with wonderful classical music even as I filled my eyes and heart with the beauty and ancient strength of oaks, maples, pines, cotton wood trees lining the road, holding the space with love. Blue sky and little playful clouds covered the entire picture with an openness and vastness that I could appreciate and need no longer to fear. I hold the memory of those hours spread throughout the month in the very cells of my body and my intention is to call upon those moments during the winter months if I find myself feeling dreary or longing for something unknown but important to me. Often time what I forget is how important my roots are and my history is and how much I long for the spirit of a godliness to hold me tight. This trip reminded me how to find comfort in where I come from.