Eight years ago today I faced death. I slid onto a cardiac emergency room Stryker bed and flat lined. Angels took care of me and I lived.
I did not sleep well last night and am very introspective today. I feel frightened, lost and tired. I want to be held and feel safe. I woke up from wherever it was that I went while on that hospital bed with an unbelievably beautiful Haitian woman in a very colourful turban up on the bed on top of me, shaking me and saying ‘Mama, mama, come back to me mama. Mama, open your eyes and come back.’ I will never forget the love in her voice. Her eyes held me steady as I pulled out of my haze and I sought safety in her urgency and spirit.
I have blessed her nearly every day of my life since then. How many others has she held and willed back into choosing to live again? I have seen her on other trips to the hospital that I made frequently throughout those years. But I never spoke to her. She lives in my heart always.
Do you believe we all have a guardian angel looking over us? Reaching out and saving us from time to time? Do you know your guardian angel? I don’t know mine. I wish s(he) would show themselves, make themselves known to me in a literal sense. I think as I age I long more than ever to trust I have a guardian angel looking after me. When I am stupid and do dumb things, I wish my guardian angel would save me. When I fear I am in danger and ask for guidance or love, I wish I could SEE the help I am given. I think I often feel it, but my eyes want to SEE. That Doubting Thomas self I suppose. So difficult to trust and have faith in what cannot be touched, tasted, smelled, looked at, held, identified as REAL.
Talk with the love of your life about guardian angels. About the way in which you help provide that role in each others lives. Talk about how you would know if your angels were paying attention, when you remember or believe you were absolutely being looked after. The energy of the spirit of Love surrounds us always. Sometimes my skin tingles with the feeling of spiritual energy in the gentle breeze that moves my hair and brushes softly through my body. Remembering that day eight years ago reminds me that I am held in the arms of Love. I was held in my Haitian angel’s arms back then, today I am held in the arms of the spirit that moves around me. I can transcend the moment and know more than the now. Know intuitively how precious every moment of life is and remind myself to treasure what I have.
I feel blessed that I was given the chance to choose life. I feel blessed that angels have helped me along the way, even when I did not realize they were there watching over me.