I want to try to put words to the experience I had just ever so briefly this morning. It’s a perfect example of possibility when we are open to really allowing ourselves to receive. For just a brief moment I felt like I felt many years ago when Clo filled the house. She was deeply integrated into my life, into the very marrow of my bones. It felt like she was beside me. But even more, it felt like she filled the house. Like she was everywhere in the house.
I am not very fond of the term “self sooth”. I immediately think of a “soother”, which makes me think of infants. I then picture myself as a grown up with a purple soother in my mouth looking wistful. If there is anything I sincerely do NOT want is to look pitiful. So wistful will be my word of choice right now.
There is a written exercise that starts with drawing a large egg on a piece of paper. I did not create the exercise. I do not know who to give credit to, but I do know it is an Imago Relationship Therapy exercise. The egg represents you. You draw a crack somewhere on the egg and write on the crack the first trauma you remember from childhood. The earliest traumatic memory you have or story you have been told, if you were too young to remember. You then make another crack in the egg and write on that line about the second trauma you remember or have been told. And so on, throughout your life up to the present.