Clo was with me this time last year. She cooked lamb for Christmas dinner. One year a while back she cooked a whole pig in our oven for Christmas dinner. She said she wanted the grandkids to have all kinds of experiences and this was one that gave her gourmet chef self a great deal of pleasure. That year the family went to the Nutcracker Suite Ballet during the holiday. We took a limousine so we could all be together and not have to stress over parking. This year we went to Aladdin and took a limousine and had champagne. What a hoot. We all dressed up to the nines, as my mother would say and we toasted Clo and remembered how much we love her. It was lovely. Her presence was felt throughout the holiday. The sting of her absence was felt just as much.
I saw clients today and am so aware and clear how important it is for me to do my work. I appreciate each and every person who trusts me and wants my support, love and wisdom. I am blessed. Clo and I shared a level of knowing that moved my soul. There was a depth of trust that she had my back and we were a team that I never doubted. I have come to believe that I can guide my clients to find a similar feeling of team work and when we find that energetic place together, I can feel Clo’s presence and see her serine smile of pleasure in the healing that is happening with the three of us in my therapy space.
When I sit with a couple I am able to channel my wise and deeply focused self. The rest of the world goes away and all I know and love is in my therapy room and lives between the 3 of us. I have with each unique and special couple a commitment and loyalty and a shared energy that is quite like what I felt when Clo and I would sit together in quiet and comfort. I quiet myself and from a place deep inside my heart and my mind I connect spiritually with the desire for healing and guidance. I get for me even as I am giving to clients, much like the shared experience of intimacy and hope we all long for with our partner.
Though Clo is no longer physically with me, I believe I am able to bring into the work I do with clients, the energy I learned to love and trust that lived between us, and in that space comes the possibility of change because in the stillness there is safety and when we are able to find a place of safety we can always find the courage to change and to grow and to heal. Because there is safety and love in the room, healing and growth can happen. I learned that with my partner who chose the word Loyal to have framed over our bed. I chose the word Love. We were an excellent team and because I have known what that feels like and looks like, I can help teach others to find something that works for them that has some similarities to what we were able to co create. Clo was my teacher, my healer and my friend, as was I hers. That is the job in every primary relationship: to give and to receive what our partner has to teach us, to allow ourselves to stretch and heal and to trust we have a friend with whom we can hold hands as the tidal wave of life rushes toward us.