I have a very dear and long-time friend from Victoria. Her gifts are myriad and profound. She is a creative, spiritual, deep thinking and always learning soul who is grounded and available, full of rich love, hope, desire…..I have no more words for her at the moment. And she gave me what I so badly needed with her time and wisdom. I better understand my grieving process, the healing I have already accomplished, and my preparing absolutely for new to enter my life.
I want to be in my home, resting, wondering, being. Not waiting. I am not waiting. I am in the middle of something that is emerging and I am accepting and opening carefully.
Do you ever feeling like you are on the verge of something, you don’t know what, but you trust it and can feel it? Yes, I am sure you have felt like that, maybe frequently. Today I don’t feel excited about that. I feel quiet about that. I like being in quiet at last. I looked for quiet for the two years Clo was so sick. Maybe I can find her again if I am quiet and open. I hope so.
My friend last night told me after the fact that she absolutely felt Clo’s presence in our living room. She felt Clo standing at my shoulder, smiling, accepting, understanding, and approving. My friend said Clo radiated love.
Beautiful. I hold that close to my soul. It matters to me. I am quiet. Yes, maybe I am waiting. Quietly. Not anxiously. I trust my next step, though I don’t see the direction nor know the outcome. Trusting means I feel safe. I am finding one of the many things Clo taught me as she was dying was to trust…..trust her, trust myself….trust the process of life as it gently unfolds. Even when it frantically unfolds. There is always learning to seek and embrace.
All we need is love. Love shone all around Clo during her last weeks/days/hours. It blessed our home and my heart.