I Can’t Stop Thinking About It…..Cancer……Death

Sad news, though not unexpected. The oncologist today emphasized that Clo has advanced cancer and we should plan the next while accordingly. He said something after that, but I forget! It had to do with having some fun and doing the things you’ve always dreamed of but maybe going back to Europe is not for this life time. He said none of us get to do all we hope to do. He did not say how long to anticipate “the next while” to be. We are both sad. Clo is sleeping now. I already slept for a while.

A new normal. Clo says she isn’t going to think about it. I can’t stop thinking about it. I don’t know what we do next. I know we start chemo again on Monday. I don’t understand that. He just told us death is soon. Chemo makes her sick most times. I hate it. Why should she put more poison in her body now? I don’t understand, but I do know going to chemo gives Clo some hope. I will not take away what little hope she still hangs onto. I know I have to have faith and keep giving Clo my love. There is power in that. Give someone you love an extra hug today and tomorrow and every day. You truly do not know how long you will have them with you.

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