Off to the cardiologist. I’m hoping he can help me better understand my tiredness. I am content to read and sleep, see clients, read, and sleep. Although January and February are the months for that and I have been known to say that bears have the right idea! My dream to hibernate for three months is a little concerning to me so I hope my doctor will be able to offer some clarity. The world keeps calling me out of hibernation. The world of cancer expects a lot. Clo can’t drive, so although I was not driving much in the city a few months ago, I drive a lot now and don’t mind a bit. It helps me feel like I know my city well and I am in charge of my life. Though cancer suggests I am not in charge at all!
The terrifically good news we received is that Clo’s chemo and Herceptin are working and the cancer has shrunk. This has put smiles in our eyes and a lilt to our step. Clo celebrated by buying a gorgeous and huge orchid for the bathroom. It looks very stately and unique, quite like Clo. With her bald head and her lovely new clothes to enhance her ever changing body, she looks great and feels good about herself. And one can’t exist without the other.
We all long to hear from our partner that we look great so we can feel good about ourselves. It is important to be intentional and mindful about admiring what you like and what you love in your partner. Even to be redundant. Never can we hear too frequently that we are dressed well or our hair is especially nice today or we are exuding lovely positive energy and well-being. Being intentional about taking good care of ourselves gives everybody around us a lift. It also brings up our own spirits. Clo has been intentional about buying attractive well-fitting clothes that flatter her and help her feel good about herself. When she feels good, she looks terrific. Fancy head gear, lovely jewellery, nice tunics, sleek pants and tights. Good feeling clothes for a good feeling day: One of her several creative ways of talking back to cancer and refusing to give in without a struggle.
It works that way for me as well. I love a no shower day from time to time. For me I feel a bit like skipping school when I was a kid: forbidden, no harm done really, and freedom to be out of eye of the grown- ups. When I hope to shift my energy and I want to be professional, take myself seriously, and not have to think about how I look but instead am just confident I did it right first thing in the morning and it will last, I am careful and thorough about what I choose to wear. I get a lift when I pick something that suits me and the day. The color I pick, the jewelry or scarves I love to wear, how the clothes feel on me and if they give me a lift. Wearing what I call my grown up clothes always helps me shift energy. I slide into professional adult mode and sail away through the day feeling pretty darn good about the way the day is going to unfold.
I suggest you take extra special care about how you look for the next 3 weeks. Check to see how that feels at the end of the 3 weeks. I bet you will realize a more positive sense of well-being and be able to smile more even when you are tired or overwhelmed. Take note if anyone comments. I find it is always a little disconcerting when someone says I look nice. I then wonder if I haven’t been looking nice lately or they are just trying to make conversation. I ask myself what I might be missing. Second guessing is not very helpful. You know, we can always sabotage ourselves. Nonetheless it is worth the experiment. How do you feel at end of 3 weeks, what comments if any have you received, is it something you want to do more of to help you feel good about yourself? Try it. You might like it. It works for me every time.