What is a “Miracle”? I don’t actually know what the religious definition is. The dictionary says, “A wonder; a marvellous thing; something which seems to go beyond the known laws of nature and is held to be the act of a supernatural being.” The dictionary description works for me. I am living with a miracle. I am living with Clo, who should be actively dying and who is in fact, actively living. She is a wonder!
What I know about this particular miracle and this particular woman, in this moment (I may well see it differently at a later time), is that she is walking around living fully and positively with an enlarged liver full of cancer and a vertebrae and breast full of cancer. She is on pain medication for her breast and chemo-therapy in an attempt to kill the cancer cells. She is bald and she has aches and pains. But don’t we all. Three weeks ago she was given 3 months to live. One week ago the prognosis was ten or more years.
Notwithstanding or minimizing the medical system one bit, we both fully believe her brand new ability to let herself know she is loved and to let that love absolutely heal her heart and soul, to bring herself into full aliveness, to make her eyes sparkle and bring laughter to those around her, is keeping her alive and not simply surviving, but fully thriving! And she says it has been easy for her to do. She was ready.
Exactly what every single one of us needs and deserves to know is that we are loved. We deserve to feel loved and we must allow our body to absorb love on a cellular level. We carry the pain and struggle of our ancestors in our body. Clo had a twin brother who died of leukemia when they were 4 years old. She has a frightened father who only knew how to show he cared in an angry and rough way. She had a mother who was overwhelmed and unable to keep up with the demands of 5 children, two of whom were twins. Clo is healing herself and her family. Every one of her family members who have come to visit has left looking softer, smiling kindly, looking open to seeing their sister in a new way. The Clo of yesterday was the care taker for her siblings. The Clo of today is radiating her willingness to be cared for. Miracles keep on happening.
Don’t EVER diminish YOUR need for being loved or the power of your receiving and giving love. It is what keeps us healthy, keeps our body and soul sane, gives us hope for beauty and joy. Don’t shame yourself or your partner if one of you feels needy or asks for more. Find respectful and generous ways to get and to give more. That is the journey of life and the gift of relationship.