What is a “Miracle”? I don’t actually know what the religious definition is. The dictionary says, “A wonder; a marvellous thing; something which seems to go beyond the known laws of nature and is held to be the act of a supernatural being.” The dictionary description works for me. I am living with a miracle. I am living with Clo, who should be actively dying and who is in fact, actively living. She is a wonder!
That is the operational word: Living! What a rush the past 5 weeks have been and what a relief it is to be in today. Yesterday we learned that Clo is responding remarkably well to treatment. Her prognosis has gone from 6 weeks to 3 months as we were originally told, to 10 years or more! A giant leap, I would say!!
One day we are in France, 9 days later we were in the emergency room in Toronto. We learned Clo has stage 4 breast cancer that has metastasized to the liver and spine and hip and she has shadows on her lungs. She is in bed now, unable to eat, barely able to walk. Friends, family, colleagues, many, many we do not even know, have written, phoned, brought in food, sent love, prayers and meditation, given support and amazing care and kindness.
Do you often have premonitions? Do you ever wonder if you are prophetic? Do you KNOW but simply don’t know? Remember I said I thought I would come back from France a different person? Remember the 5 most difficult issues for a relationship to deal with? Well…
I came back from France with more energy than I had when I left for France. How does that work? It has somehow sustained itself all week. It now isn’t difficult to get up at 7 or 7:30 am and afternoon naps are no longer crucially necessary. I am however, enjoying time to just be still and quiet with myself and integrate each day…
I have now learned that taking a trip to a foreign country with an unfamiliar language (even if it is your partner’s first language), can easily be one of the top 5 most stressful things on a relationship. I think the list of top 5 stresses goes something like…
We are going to France and we leave this Friday! I so do not know how to pack my suitcase. Will it be hot? Will it be cold? I will cover both possibilities. I have always loved leaving home for a new adventure. Years ago, when I visited my parents in Arizona or later when they moved to California, we would take day long trips to the mountains or the desert or the ocean. I loved it! It was always very peaceful, and felt renewing.
Caroline Myss has written a helpful, readable, excellent book that makes sense and is empowering. It’s called Anatomy of The Spirit. One of the many things I like about the book is that she is clear about the mind AND the spiritual connection to our body. She talks about every single event, happening, memory, thought, or experience, they all live in the cells of our body.
So many times in my life I have wanted a face-to-face talk with God. Now is one of those times. I want to say, “Tell me, please tell me: How am I doing? I am bored! My energy is LOW. What is this all about? Life, love, relationships, work, creativity…. WHAT IS IT ALL ABOUT?”
I have been thinking about the horse whisperer. I also know the dog whisperer, and an animal whisperer. I think of the power of whispering. The soft, gentle, quiet knowing it takes to have a whisper heard. And the intuition and internal knowing it takes to have words to whisper.