Thinking Comes First, Feelings Follow

You get what you think.

Interesting, isn’t it? True and scary. Every time, over the years, that I have tried to get out of doing something by saying, “I’m sick,” strangely enough, I have gotten sick. What’s that about? When I find myself thinking I have an especially full week and I wonder how I am going to make it through, I begin to get cancellations. I have friends who leave the house imagining a parking space right where they want it and there it is waiting for them!

Think about it: What happens when you spend a large part of your day grumbling and grouching about what your partner doesn’t do to help? Does he/she come home at the end of the day and dive right into straightening the house, doing the laundry, mowing the lawn, making fun plans for the family? Or does she/he take a shower, put on sweats, read the paper, and go online? Do you prophesize being disappointed by your partner? You may be underestimating the power of intention.

Our minds are amazing. Long ago, there was a very popular book called, “The Power of Positive Thinking” written by Doctor Norman Vincent Peale. Equally true is the power of negative thinking. We can think anything into happening, or not happening especially if more than one is concentrating on the same subject. Hence the power of prayer or mediation.

My daughter had a job interview several thousand miles away from her boyfriend and she didn’t want the job. She didn’t even want the interview. Her desire to not go was so powerful she was able to stop the plane from leaving. The weather was unusually terrible and they couldn’t take off. A later plane made the interview impossible. I don’t believe she stopped that flight all by herself. But I do believe she and some other powerfully minded people got their wish. She made herself ineligible for the unwanted job interview and others who intended to take that flight got their thoughts responded to as well, whatever it may have been they were thinking.

Make your relationship the right and perfect one for you. Imagine it, think it, dream it, talk it, smile about it and bring positive energy and positive feelings into each moment.

Intentionally and mindfully consider what you can do in a new way that will help you and your partner remain emotionally and spiritually in connection. Practice thinking 3 times a day about what your partner does that you like. It is easy and familiar to get caught by what needs to be changed, what we don’t like, what annoys us, but we totally forget to SEE what is good and special about this person we once adored and with whom we have signed up for a life time together.

Think about it! Really think about it. If you think happy, you feel happy. If you think sad, or sick, or negative or scarcity or illness, that is bound to be what you will get. If you think not enough money, cancer is everywhere, life is tough, nothing good ever happens to me/us, that becomes the reality. If you think, I love my life, the sun is warm and friendly, the rain gives us good healthy food, the car will look terrific when it gets a nice soapy bath, the kids are a hoot when they play ball in the yard, all that and better will be true. Feelings follow thought. Buddha taught that. Consider the possibility that Buddha might have known something very valuable. When I think happy I am far more likely to feel happy. When I think scared or fill my mind with things that overwhelm or frighten me, I feel overwhelmed and stuck. I feel unable to accomplish what I really want to be doing.

It amazed me how Clo, though she was oh so very sick, could find a reason to celebrate, and a place for a smile, or a kind and generous word to say. She absolutely did not focus on dying or even on the pain she was in. She dug in the garden when she could barely bend over so she sat on a low wooden stool. She rejoices in her muddy, dirty hands, and asked for someone to help plant more flowers when we already had an abundance. She welcomed guests when I would have wanted to sleep had I been in her shoes. She bought a new and expensive bird feeder so she could watch the yard fill with playful noisy birds we had to look up in the bird book to identify. She opted for pleasure when she could have sunk deep into despair.

At the end of the day we talked, often for only a few minutes because her energy was limited. I urged us to talk about what she saw, or heard, or was thinking about. I especially wanted to hear what she wanted to remember. Clo did not add negativity to her final journey. She was mindful and intentional about focusing on her growing and thriving garden, the pretty hats she wore when she was bald, the multi-coloured vest we bought at One of a Kind, and rich colourful gourmet food she had once loved to cook and still enjoyed eating. I learned more and more every day how to stay positive with Clo quietly guiding me. She never did share her experience of dying with me or with anyone else. She took that secret with her when she left.

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