People often experience intense feelings on the anniversary of something significant in their lives. I have always honoured that and recognized the importance of pausing in this busy life to remember the death of someone loved, a birthday, the time when an illness hit or was recovered from, a special trip or treat or encounter. Anniversaries can be a myriad of things, both delightful and difficult.
On August 21, 2007, I had my first “event”, as I have come to call the hospitalizations I have had. This time last year was tough slugging. It was hot, humid, and I could feel the pollution in the air. I was having trouble breathing. I was even having trouble moving much. It’s been a challenging year and though I have more challenges ahead, I see the last twelve months as extraordinary. We have been to Austria twice and I have opened an office there. I am talking with a medical doctor about the possibility of opening an office in Kuwait. Life, growth, joy, near death; there is so much to celebrate and so much learning that I am doing.
I love my wonderful morning walks with Aimee, the most adorable puppy on the planet. We go to a 34 acre park near-by and roam the hills. There is sacred and healing energy in that park. I can feel it and I can see it. One time a few years ago, while standing at the top of a hill, looking down over the acres of lush green expanse, I saw the universe radiate with light. The colours were brilliant. I “saw” my life in a moment. I had a sweet feeling of peace. But most of all I felt compassion – for me. I “heard”, “You have done well.” I hold that memory in my heart. It feels precious to me. I feel blessed every time I think of that moment, brief as it was.
One day when my oldest son Jeffery was 7 or 8 years old, he was uncharacteristically irritable and cranky. I asked him what was wrong. He said to me, “Changes, changes. There are too many changes, Mom. I can’t stand it!”